Friday, May 05, 2006

"Rock Bottom"


It pains me to say so but I find it easier to think of examples of bad Kiwi music than good. The DomPost journalist who got this job was the least challenged. Tom Cardy has kicked off New Zealand Music Month with his 10 worst Kiwi songs in today's edition. Here they are;

1 Sailing Away - All of us 1986 (mercifully I was out of the country)

2 Join Together - Steve Allen 1972 (1972? the best thing to come out of the 1974 Commonwealth games was the official blue and red striped HQ holdens - my brother bought one)

3 Life begins a Forty - Dave and the Dynamos 1983 (just the worst images are conjured up of perenniel party twerps)


4 Shoop Shoop Diddy Wop Cumma Cumma Wang Dang - Monte Video 1982 (what was I doing in 1982? Looking at the picture, what was Michael Laws doing in 1982?)

5 Liverpool to America - The Knobz 1981 (never heard of it but if it's as good as the band's name I'm not missing much)

6 The Blue Monkey - Suzanne Paul 1994 (again, new to me. Is there no end to that woman's talents?)

7 They Can't Take That Away - Ben Lummis 2004 (trail-blazing the way for one-hit-wonder NZ Idols)

8 Destiny in Motion - Satellite Spies 1985 (I confess to being responsible for selling this one as a record rep. Dreadful. Around the same time I was trying get people to listen to Bruce Hornsby. Brilliant. Not Kiwi.)

9 I Love my Feet - Shona Laing 1975 (she should. Probably the only one out of this lot still on them)

10 Tonight - True Bliss 1999 (completely passed me by)

So nothing by Hogsnort Rupert, Ray Woolf, Prince Tui Teka, Max Cryer, Suzanne Prentice, John Hanlon, Howard Morrison, The Mockers, Bill and Boyd, Rog Guest, David Curtis, Bunny Walters, any punk band......

The Post is running a competition for challengers with a prize of ....drum roll....a CD of Kiwi music.

My most cringe-making song was How Great Thou Art by Howard Morrison. The song is bad enough but Howie's struggle to find pitch just gives it an edge over the competition. It's my No 1.

5 comments:

Blair said...

My old blog had what I thought was a fairly comprehensive list. But it appears I missed several *gems* - well done!

Dave said...

Ive blogged my list here om my 10 worst shockers

Michael said...

I know it's not a pop song but John Rowles singing the following has to be an alltime low:

"Go for ... G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, Gerrard. Go for Gerrard and your roof is looking good."

Michael said...

Actually, I remember there was a bank on 'Flying Nun' label that copied that style:

"jun, jun, jun jun, jun,jun, jun, jun, jun, jun, June, July, August. These are the Winter Months."

Absolute total shocker - like most of the rest of the Flying Nun stuff.

Anonymous said...

I like that "Satellite Spies" one. Sounds alright to me. I certainly wouldn't describe it as "dreadful".