Sunday, May 08, 2011

My advice to Kerre Woodham (and myself on more than one occasion)

Kerre Woodham writes in today' SST:

Mother's Day is more a day for the children than it is for mums - all mums with healthy, beautiful children have a mother's day every day that their children stay safe and happy.

But this year - sorry to be a spoil sport - let's turn the spotlight on those mothers who are abject failures. All those mothers who haven't got a clue who their children's sperm donors were. All those mothers who have children because they get paid to - and, let's face it, they wouldn't get paid to do anything else. Those mothers who stay with men who hurt them and their kids because they're so pathetic and useless that any shag - even when it comes with a biff - is better than being alone.

This Mother's Day, I would plead that every mother who has had a child that they don't care about or can't cope with gets the help that they need....

I've been writing columns and banging on on talkback for more than 13 years about this and I am so, so sick of railing against the abomination that is child abuse in this country.

So this will be my last column on the subject. What I do is utterly futile.

Her emotion (or lack of it) is called burn out.

My advice to Kerre is don't stop writing but do start thinking about what policies need to change and be specific about what needs to happen. If you know that people have children because they are paid to, call for the end of such a policy. It is your money being used after all. If you think adoption is a better option, push for a change in CYF's attitude to adoption. How do you think it came about that NZ literally turned its back on the process? Vociferous, relentless, activism by feminists who believed that a child should always stay with its natural mother. How did it come about that we pay single women to have children? Feminist activism that deplored the nuclear family. Fight back and keep fighting. Not for a return to the past but for a new approach. Women today have so much more opportunity. They don't need these state crutches which if anything turn them into victims rather than empowered beings.

Take a breather and wait for the energy to return. It will.


Oswald Bastable said...

Nil carborundum illegitimi!

Anonymous said...

Trouble is, the left have entrenched themselves into CYFS, and this is why the results are horrific. Kids staying within dangerous families rather then being removed, adoption an absolute no-go, and the perps shielded and protected. Even with National at the helm, the culture is the same. Left-wing apologists that do anything but protect the vulnerable and helpless at-risk kids.

Michael Law's column is worth a read too, you can just feel the frustration, but the government refuses to change the system or admit it's not working.

I can see it just getting worse and worse, short of a miracle. The powers that be are refusing to make any policy changes, it's all but ignored, and so are the people who try to confront the problem.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

It is the same in Australia... child abuse is at epidemic proportions, with DOCS overwhelmed etc etc. Yet our welfare rules are such that a woman, who had a baby on welfare, no history of work, gets the $5200 baby bonus, and then gets it again for the second baby, and the third, plus a rise in pension, all the while claiming she doesn't have a boyfriend. It is insane, it is the exact recipe for disaster.

Unsolicitedious Rebugger said...

Good on Kerre - fantastic article. The only thing I would say in response to Anonymous comment is that it is all very well demanding children be removed from their homes & attacking CFYs for leaving them there, but if they do get removed where is it you would have them go? We have a massive shortage of foster homes in this country so unless you are putting your hand up I suggest you show CYFs a bit more respect - they have a hell of a job & actually do a good job (on the whole) with the resources & funding they have. They not only need more funding but they need more trained staff (again are you going to put your hand up to be a social worker - I know I couldn't handle it) & more foster homes. So it is a combination of these things & our refusal as a nation to deal with the core issues behind why we have child abuse that sees it escalating/has seen in escalate. Nothing has changed since the Newland baby farm murders & I'm not sure if it ever will.