There are calls to set up a national register of the worst domestic violence offenders to protect potential new partners and victims.
The trouble is many women get involved with these characters knowing they have a history. They think he will never hit them because they are different. And in the first flush of 'romance' he probably won't. And she won't nag or criticise him either. But that changes.
Men who repeatedly assault women - either mentally or physically - have a personality problem. They also have a kind of split personality. When contrite they are sad, vulnerable, lonely little boys. Highly lovable to someone who is herself very insecure. Hence a mutual but sometimes deadly attraction is at work.
All the legalistic intervention in the world will not change human nature.
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3 comments:
Legalistic intervention might not change human nature. But it might protect a few and it might make a woman think twice about hooking up with somebody who has a history of violence. Yes, some women might have the helper-syndrome going on and think that they will be able to change a violent man. But quite a few do not know what they have gotten themselves into and for those it will be a good thing to know that they are not alone, that they are not imagining things and that they can get out of the situation.
I believe very few would 'think twice' and actually put a halt to the formation of a relationship. I will blog more on that. You seem to be arguing that, for some, if already in an abusive relationship, confirmation by way of checking a register would help them. Possibly. I always enjoy your challenging comments Luggage.
Lindsay, I do not necessarily think that for somebody who has already fallen into a pattern the register would do much good - what they need is a psychologist. I do think though that such a register might help women who have gotten into an abusive relationship for the first time. If they can go to that register and maybe find their man, or if they just know that this register exists and that things are being done about abuse, they might not fall into the same pattern again.
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