Message to stay-at-home mums.

The collective way many people want us to look at life really is loathsome. From today's Sunday Star Times we learn that at least one judge is prepared to stand against this rubbish, to the ire of the editor. A married couple split after many years. They have considerable assets. The judge orders a fifty/fifty split which gives them $4.5 million each. The wife isn't happy with this. She puts in a claim for 70 percent of their assets or a further $1.7 million on the basis her future earning potential has been corroded because she stayed at home with the kids. Judge observes that she had ample opportunity to return to work once the children were settled at school. She chose to stay home. The judge turns her down.

So the editor construes this as a message to (or from, take your pick) society that we do not value at-home mothers. Balderdash.

In reality we are individuals making our own value judgments about our families. There is no collective right or wrong way. Each couple, and their children, will be different and each will have contributed in different and unequal ways. It is quite adequate for the law, in a case like this, to uphold a fifty/fifty split.

My personal observation is that many men work very hard and have far more constraint on their time than their partners. Stay-at-home mums have a great deal of freedom and choice, particularly in the case of those with high household incomes. Staying at home with the kids is a privilege. It isn't a sacrifice. Above all it is a choice. Having made your bed, expect to lie in it.