The feminist burden

Here is a very jaundiced view of men and marriage. It asks me some questions so best I answer them;

Lindsay
You are a traitor to the female gender and it gets you some nice misogynist fans and might even pay quite well. Most women who disagree with your points of view do not even speak because of the consequences like loss of career mariage leading to impoverishment etc. Only women who promote vicous victimisation of their own gender are comfortable enough to speak out. They have some ardent male fans.
Just incase you are unaware Lindsay if children are left alone a woman can be jailed for neglect. How do you suggest single mothers pay the childcare fees to avoid this problem. The fathers of their children are not asked to contribute yet often sit on the sidelines and slag off the mothers of their own children who are required by law to provide 24 hour care.
Yes it might be a sensisble idea financially for women to marry before they have children but I think you will find most single parents have been married and are divorced.
According to a Herald poll more than 40% of men have been unfaithfull to their wives and about 16% of married women have cheated. They failed to mention though that wives infideity is usually a revenge affair after discovering a husbands affair.
We get this constant bullshit that men are just different and women are forgiving but the truth is the consequences for a mother having an affair are the end of her marriage and life long impoverishment unless she gets another ( cheating bastard ) husband. Wronged women bury their
anger to keep a roof over theirs and their childrens heads but they shouldnt have to.
Do you think women should put up with infidelity Lindsay please tell me.
You talk about their being less poverty when mothers get off welfare but what are their lives like? Studies in the US show the average mother does about 50 hours housework per week. If you combine this with working say a minimum of 40 hours thats 90 hours per week and many mothers work sixty hours plus for pittance wages. Their children are often left alone. So what should women in the US and NZ do when their partners visit prostitutes, strip clubs, bash them etc Lindsay. The cause of female poverty is often abuse by husbands. If your husband cheats or beats you either put up with it or you pay for the rest of your life.
What sort of quality of life do mothers have working 24/7. They might have a little more moeny but most compalain of complete physical exhaustion. They have no quality of life as is the same for many married mothers doing the same thing. Marriage is not something I would even think about. Its just slavery for many women Lindsay.
I know many mothers who come home from work and start doing the housework while their husband minds the kids. They work untill midnight and dont even get time with their own children. The husband and children have a slave cleaner. Women putting up with this is nothing to do with childrens welfare if all they actually do is work cook and clean.
We are constantly lectured by capitalists that women should sacrifice for children.
Well if they live miserable impoverished overworked lives then their daughters will too. The only benefactors are men.

First, my welfare reform advocacy is unpaid. I have only ever once been paid for my writing. I pay to promote my ideas. I suppose I could even buy into the nonsense of foregone earnings because of spending so much time on welfare research and writing. But I won't because that's my choice.

I have no obligation to the female gender by virtue of being one. Such a blind loyalty would demand a far greater 'sacrifice' than any other the writer rails against. A sacrifice of honesty because all women are not all right all of the time.

Many of the people who read this blog, like myself, have happy and enduring relationships. Believing there are problems with welfare, and the DPB, does not make one a misogynist. To the contrary. It usually accompanies a belief that men and women should rely more on each other, do more for each other, instead of depending so heavily on government assistance.

I wouldn't rely on a Herald poll as an accurate representation of how much infidelity can be accorded to either sex. But no, it shouldn't be tolerated if it hurts one partner very deeply. If a short period of assistance was required to exit a relationship I can live with that. But for how long does the 'help' go on before it becomes a destructive crutch or a weapon to use against the ex? And how many men walk away for the primary reason that the state will fill their shoes?

Poverty levels for single mothers in the US have been (recently) fairly steady but are still lower than before the reforms. Obviously many ex beneficiaries will be in low paying jobs but working for a living has many other upsides beyond income levels. In particular, the children form an expectation that working for a living is expected.

Most people on the DPB have not been married.

Childcare is quite heavily subsidised. The subsidies increased under Labour. The tax credit system was designed so that a single mother would always be better off working. There is a shortage of childcare which is ironically, in part, a result of the female workforce being reduced by over-reliance on benefits.

If women are doing housework until midnight every night they have some sort of obsession. The whole idea that women are slaves to children and men is pathetic. I suspect the writer is clinically depressed and projects her experience on the rest of her gender because misery loves company. In fact, if she really believes this stuff she is better off alone.