My computer has developed a case of Cunliffitis - it's decided it's running the show.
Ever since it arrived at my house it's been churning away. Never shuts up. I don't know what it does all day but the drive is constantly chattering. To the point where it gets on my goat. There it goes again. Then this morning I'm in the middle of a post (OK it wasn't of earth shattering importance) and this thing tells me it's logging off. Hang on. I decide when I'm logging off. No you don't.
It wants to configure updates. But I'm busy right now. No your not. Configuring my updates is far more important.
Configuring. So I sit and stare at the screen as the hands move around the clock. Take your time. Don't mind me. I've got all the time in the world. You f-----. No you don't. Now it's shutting down. Hang on. Gone.
Then it whirs back into life. 'Welcome' it says. I'll f------ give you welcome. Where've you been? It wasn't me who left.
"Your last session crashed" it says. 'My session' didn't crash. How could it have been 'my session' when it's you who's running the show?
Why wimps are socialists
6 minutes ago